I lost a friend this week. Not due to death or something as dramatic as that but due to my political ideologies. I was dumped because after a 30 year(on again off again) friendship ‘we had nothing in common’ and she feels that 'citizens of the United States who live abroad should not be allowed to vote'. I guess looking back on the whole incident I dumped her. I have a real hard time with arrogance. With the United States economy leading the way to a global recession this is not a time to be ethnocentric or xenophobic. I can’t have someone like that in my life. I need positive, supportive women around me not women who 1) don’t vote 2) yell and call people names when they are taking an opposing view rather than using examples to back up their premise. Who does that???
We went to the same elementary school, we are both married and we have offspring but that is where the similarities end. I chose to attend college, she chose the military, and you get the drift. This summer the relationship took an exceptionally nasty tone with her constantly trying to compete with me on just about every topic from theology to politics to the state of the economy to who had a deeper knowledge of vocabulary to the 'stupid liberals' in the PTA. I was a captive audience to her anti liberal rantings as I was a guest in her home for a month. I did not try to compete as I have never felt insecure with my intellect and I was on her turf. For me it was never about competition. I do my research and I know my topics and when I am wrong I am the first to admit it. I am wrong a lot.
I was a whipping girl for her. Someone she could judge and speak to in a condescending manner when it suited her needs or when her husband was present and she needed validation. She reveled in my follies. With friends like that....
However upset I am by these revelations I will miss her dearly. I loved her and she will always be a part of me. I think it is true that our social bonds form who we are as people and I have learned from a lot from my friendships. 30 years is nothing to scoff at and I am walking away with a lot of good memories and I hope as time goes by she too will look back fondly at the experiences we shared and feel enriched because of them and not despite them.
Needless to say, I am looking forward to being accepted for me, not for what someone else wants me to be. I am not here for your entertainment.
