I'd been having a crisis of faith for a long time. Seeing so many injustices in the world has really shaped where I am coming from now. You see it all the time…kids dying before their time, before they have even had a chance to see the snow, go to the ocean, or climb a mountain. The wars waged in the name of God…if this God is so benevolent, why has he not put a stop to the bloodshed, the famines and the terror that goes on in countries most Americans can’t locate on a map, let alone pronounce? I just can’t reconcile it.
Back in January I really started to question why I believed in God...what was the compulsion? I was not able to put my finger on it. One day back in April I found myself at a book store in the religion and philosophy section staring at a book entitled Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris. I immediately opened it and started to read...
Since hopping over the fence …each day I feel more and more at peace with my life. Now I try to make every day count because I know there is nothing…at least I feel that there is no hereafter and I need to make it good. In many ways I feel as if I have more control over things because I am not leaving it up to some imaginary being who is going to magically make things better because I have ‘faith’. I am responsible for me. If a cell goes wild in my body and mutates it is not up to God to heal me, it is up to the doctors and if they fail it is not an act of God but a natural consequence of Cancer. These things happen. However, I don’t want to discount the power that faith has on the mind…faith gets many through horrible crises and I am thankful that there is something that people can turn to when they are troubled. Some people need a God that they can thank when things go their way and that they can blame when things don’t work in their favour. I'm just not in that camp.
Ultimately, I believe in free will. Let me be responsible for myself and allow me to own up to my mistakes and my triumphs.
