Defriending…we don’t like to talk about it but it happens. I have looked for proper etiquette on the subject but there is really nothing out there. Defriending as I understand it, is when one deletes a friend off of their friend list on facebook, myspace, twitter, friendster, linkedin or any number of other SNS sites. It can be a bit dehumanizing if it is done without explanation.
I got defriended this week…it took me about 5 minutes to figure out who the culprit was…a friend of an ex friend. Keeping perspective I was a bit glad although, initial embarrassment did set in for a moment, however fleeting, it still stings.
Then it dawned on me…I have friends on Facebook that I invited to Facebook and for whom I am their only friend and they don‘t even use it to communicate with me, they insist on sending emails. The nerve. After doing some research into my friends list I noticed that I have one friend whom I’ve not heard from in literally a year…I checked her profile and she had not even looked into her Facebook account for quite some time. She was a colleague of mine in Japan for 6 months and then she moved back to Australia. We’ve been in touch once since then and that was when I first got on Facebook. I defriended her today, not out of spite but because her account is not active. I also defriended an ex boyfriend who got on facebook because I asked him to but never used it(I was his only friend). A bit pointless. I have both their email addresses and will be informing them of my decision. I don't want to come off like a bitch...although, right now it seems to be an exercise in futility.
I like Facebook because most of my friends are on the other side of the world…I don’t see them very often but I love them and I want to keep in touch. Friends are important and at times are an extension of your family. I have some friends on Facebook I know would not notice if I defriended them…at least it would take them a while to figure it out…out of the 767 friends they had yesterday they now have 766.
Saturday 8 November 2008
Friday 7 November 2008
Compassion and the Moral Imperative
Wednesday morning the 5th of November was a bittersweet day for me. I took my son to school per usual but felt weighed down by my brothers and sisters in Ca who had struggled for months to block Proposition 8. On the one hand Barack Obama was on his way to the White House, what a victory for Civil Rights, what a victory for so many of a generation who witnessed Dr. Martin Luther King’s ‘I have a dream” speech, who witnessed the rise and fall of Jesse Jackson in 1984 and thought, someday. But I could not bring myself to be happy. Yes, I am delirious that Obama made it. As a democrat I could not be prouder of my country but as a resident of California I was so disappointed with the passage of Prop 8.
After dropping my son off at school I decided to go to the local market and buy myself some solace in a bottle of Cabernet. As I made my way to the store front I tripped on a piece of black plastic strapping. I fell to the ground too hard and fast for my nearly 40 years to fall. It took a few seconds for me to even realise what had happened. As I checked my surroundings, my shoes in disarray and off my feet from the force of the fall. I saw two people who had watched me fall get into their car. I had fallen 20 feet in front of their car….they watched. They did not come over to assist me, they did not ask if I was OK but they did watch me and as I became more aware of what had happened they drove off. Disgusting. I have always been one to lend assistance to people in need, regardless of whether or not they asked for it, so for me the actions of these strangers was an ultimate betrayal. In shock I made my way to the store, put the back strapping around a poll inside the store and purchased my bottle of wine. I went home and felt victimized. How can another human being watch someone get hurt and not feel compelled to give assistance?
As of two days later I am still recovering. Pride intact. I do feel my recovery time would have been cut in half if someone in that parking lot cared enough about another human being to take a minute out of their day to assist me getting to my feet and asking if I was ok. Compassion.
I have not been the most compassionate person when it comes to my family especially, with my mother and her chronic aches and pains. I have not been very compassionate when my husband, who travels extensively for business, gets sick. Mea culpa. Karma? Perhaps. Things happen for a reason, divine interventions way of reminding us of our past infractions and the ramifications they have had on others. Often to help us, if we did not learn from them before, to learn from them now. I will be more compassionate with both my husband and my mother. I earned this fall and the bruises and sore muscles that accompany it.
After dropping my son off at school I decided to go to the local market and buy myself some solace in a bottle of Cabernet. As I made my way to the store front I tripped on a piece of black plastic strapping. I fell to the ground too hard and fast for my nearly 40 years to fall. It took a few seconds for me to even realise what had happened. As I checked my surroundings, my shoes in disarray and off my feet from the force of the fall. I saw two people who had watched me fall get into their car. I had fallen 20 feet in front of their car….they watched. They did not come over to assist me, they did not ask if I was OK but they did watch me and as I became more aware of what had happened they drove off. Disgusting. I have always been one to lend assistance to people in need, regardless of whether or not they asked for it, so for me the actions of these strangers was an ultimate betrayal. In shock I made my way to the store, put the back strapping around a poll inside the store and purchased my bottle of wine. I went home and felt victimized. How can another human being watch someone get hurt and not feel compelled to give assistance?
As of two days later I am still recovering. Pride intact. I do feel my recovery time would have been cut in half if someone in that parking lot cared enough about another human being to take a minute out of their day to assist me getting to my feet and asking if I was ok. Compassion.
I have not been the most compassionate person when it comes to my family especially, with my mother and her chronic aches and pains. I have not been very compassionate when my husband, who travels extensively for business, gets sick. Mea culpa. Karma? Perhaps. Things happen for a reason, divine interventions way of reminding us of our past infractions and the ramifications they have had on others. Often to help us, if we did not learn from them before, to learn from them now. I will be more compassionate with both my husband and my mother. I earned this fall and the bruises and sore muscles that accompany it.
Wednesday 5 November 2008
Thank You Barack
It is about time. It is about time for Americans to see themselves in a better light. For us to rise above ourselves and our cynicism. For us to, dare I say, know that dreams can come true and change for the better is achievable. It s time for us to reach out to each other to show our caring and understanding that yes, we do have differences, but we can work together for the common good that is our future.
So many of us has have felt disenfranchised over the last eight years….Barack Obama, you gave the disenfranchised a voice. There are struggles ahead for your administration and I pray for patience not only of myself but of the others who have waited for you for so long.
So many of us has have felt disenfranchised over the last eight years….Barack Obama, you gave the disenfranchised a voice. There are struggles ahead for your administration and I pray for patience not only of myself but of the others who have waited for you for so long.
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